Since I’m not a gamer I don’t have anything useful to say about whether this feature film is anything like the popular and reportedly very violent video game it’s based on, but the plot is such a mash-up of conflicting vectors that I imagine the filmmakers had a difficult time trying to make narrative sense of game elements that are just there for the sake of excitement. How old, exactly, is this game? Because it’s obvious that whoever came up with it never thought it might be made into a movie.

The premise is that a night security guard at a long-closed pizza parlor is beset by a bunch of life-sized, possessed animatronic figures that used to be the main draw of the place for families. In the opening scene we see one of these guards trying to escape the darkened restaurant through air conditioning ducts, being pursued by something we can’t see, until he’s dispatched. The fact that director Emma Tammi doesn’t include a money shot of the guard’s obliteration would seem to incidate she’s saving the goodies for later, but it’s a tease whose implication she never fulfills because the script gets in the way. We get plenty of backstory about the next security guard, Mike (Josh Hutscherson), a good-hearted, orphaned loser who is trying to protect his little sister, Abby (Piper Rubio), in the face of a custody battle from his evil aunt (Mary Stuart Masterson). He takes the job against his better judgment because unemployment means the aunt will win, but the job counselor (Matthew Lillard) who throws him the gig is pretty clear that it sucks: “Pay’s not great and the hours are worse.” Compounding Mike’s fiscal insolvency is his battered psychological state: He suffers nightmares about the abduction of his little brother when Mike was a teenager, as well as followup dreams featuring other abducted children who might know what happened to the brother. All of these elements, as well as the aunt’s schemes to make Mike look as irresponsible as possible, are meant to come together in such a way as to explain the mysterious goings-on at Freddy’s in the middle of the night, which is over-determined for a movie premised on a video game where the only point of interest is whether the player can survive a bunch of big bloodthirsty dolls. I had questions about plot holes throughout the film’s 110 minutes, but once the climax came into view I just gave up.

And for all that the visceral aspects were weak meat. I counted three instances where the basic concept of the game is in operation, and none were particularly suspenseful or scary; which would seem to mean the movie is aimed at a younger cohort. The people who play the game are probably looking forward to seeing the gore recreated with more graphic verisimilitude, but what they get is a supernatural melodrama with a few limp jump scares. Where’s the gross-out fun in that?

Opens Feb. 9 in Tokyo at Toho Cinemas Nihonbashi (050-6868-5060), Toho Cinemas Hibiya (050-6868-5068), Shinjuku Piccadilly (050-6861-3011), Toho Cinemas Shinjuku (050-6868-5063), Shibuya Humax Cinema (03-3462-2539), Toho Cinemas Roppongi Hills (050-6868-5024).

Five Nights at Freddy’s home page in Japanese

photo (c) 2023 Universal Pictures